Thursday 10 September 2015

Murder and betrayal (and other fantasies)

Stoop. Now there’s a word. Never stoop to someone’s level. The level bit conveys quite a lot. Clearly there’s a hierarchy of behaviour and, if my grandmother had any say in the matter, we would always being aiming for the top. But really it’s the word stoop that makes the point. It seems to capture not only the lowering or sinking of standards, but the actual slimy poisonous descent – that miserable journey into the dark morality-free zone. Oooh, can I come too?

In all honesty, I’m more of the goody-good variety. I take the not stooping very seriously. I’m one of those types who attempts to take claiming the high moral ground to new and ever higher places. The good old-fashioned guilt-trip is my weapon of choice. The problem is that most of the time it doesn’t bloody work. Which leads me to wonder whether it’s actually more satisfying doing the wrong thing. You know, maybe just once… Although let’s be clear. I’m not talking about bitch-faced bullying. Rather, the focus is being on the receiving end of extensive and seemingly unrelenting crap and politely wondering if turning the other cheek just isn’t working.

Although one problem is that while I strive to be all things good, I’m actually not. I’ve been involved in terrible, vicious and inappropriate incidences of doing the wrong thing. Unfortunately, I usually fail to notice. I’m brilliant at causing offence, it’s just that I don’t mean to. So as a direct consequence, I fail to enjoy the delicious moment…  Take being a step-mother for example, everything you do is construed as evil simply by definition. We’ve all read the fairy tales; we know how it goes. But I’m usually surprised that what I’ve said or done has been taken badly, and then I’m left feeling perplexed because I genuinely believed being evil would be more fun. Clearly I’m doing it wrong. I need to get good at being bad.  

Betrayal is that curious phenomenon that is defined not just by the actions themselves, but the level of two-facedness involved. Betrayal involves a breach of trust. However, because we inherently trust some people more than others, sometimes it’s the lesser crimes that cause the greatest distress. And while sometimes betrayal is an act of revenge, at other times the initial act is unprovoked. Does the act of original betrayal feel good? Or does betrayal-revenge feel better? All things told, I feel I’m doing neither of these things right.

So what are some acts of betrayal for us to dwell on? Not in a plotting and scheming manner (cough). Just out of neutral and vague interest… There are the classic examples of spies during wartime, people having affairs and others generally going against how you agreed to raise the children… There are people who get married only to sneakily kill their partner for the insurance money and the classic examples of betraying others to gain power. There are even  cases of people pretending to be someone they’re not. Take  the curious court case in England at the moment of the woman taking another woman to court for pretending to be an Asian man tricking her into have sex. ….ok… so maybe we should move on to murder. 

How would I do it? I have never ever considered this question. But you know, now that you ask… Given the number of Agatha Christies I’ve read, I should be an arsenic in the tea type. Although I’d probably get horribly confused about which cup and accidentally drink it myself. In all honesty, I’m probably more of a crimes of passion type. Although I’m not really sure that brutal murder is my thing. Maybe it depends on the day… The freaky thing is that as there are loads of unsolved murders we’ve probably all met a murderer or two in our lifetimes. Maybe it’s that smug git at work who is always smiling – that’d be why…

Although maybe we should be cautious, because betrayal can backfire and leave you a paranoid unhappy wreck like that dude in that Shakespearean play we all had to study at school. But what if the problem was that he was talked into it and then subsequently felt awful. What if it was your own idea? Would you still feel bad? Sadly, I think the closest I will get to murder and betrayal is just simply telling someone what I think of them. But even that can be fraught.

The imagined idea of telling someone what you really think is so far removed from reality as to exist in an entirely different dimension. The ideal goes something like this: You swish in there looking fabulous. You stand tall and feel proud. You give the best darn speech in the history of fabulous “up yours” speeches. It’s witty and insightful with just the perfect amount of put downs (i.e. loads). You finish on a triumphant note while your opponent stands there, shoulders slumped obviously feeling shamed by their odious actions - cue you swanning off with glamour and style.

But part of you knows that the moment you do let rip you’re only going to look like a mad baboon who’s lost the plot. You’ll screech and say really silly things and probably even insult yourself “I know I am but what are you?... damn it!….”. And to top it all off as you turn to leave, imagining that great grand gesture, you’ll bloody trip over something and hurt yourself.

Even if you do manage to tell someone some home truths, it can be curiously unsatisfying, especially if faced with an unrepentant and disinterested foe.  So all things considered, maybe I’ll just take up running. It will be a great way to work off angsty-energy and anger (and hey, who knows, could come in handy for that quick getaway…).

No comments:

Post a Comment