The naked truth: why nudity’s all in our minds

Selfies. More selfies. Nude selfies. Nude rude selfies of nude rude bits and bobs. Was Bob actually in the photo? But I digress. Or undress. Whatever. Are nude photos the end of the world as we know it, or not what they’re cracked up to be?...

I often feel like I’m surrounded by photos and images of nude or nearly nude people. Shutterstock, for example, the company specialising in high quality digital photos (and where I got the photo for this post from), have quite the selection of nude photos to choose from. And wasn’t Hugh Jackman’s bum in the latest X-Men movie? And under no circumstances are you (in an antique hunting fervour) to google “milk jugs”.

But let’s take a closer look at Facebook (because it’s the only social media I use… ) I see far more of other people’s “lives” and thoughts than I want to...  I have a small number of teenage friends, but because they have loads of friends and Facebook’s predilection to close the gap on any degree of separation, I end up seeing the entire town’s collection of selfies and scantily clad holiday snaps. (I’ve included a collection of Facebook photos from the last couple of days below – these are celebrities that have been shared or liked, not my actual FF’s themselves…)   

It’s not that I want to see all those photos. And I don’t actually want to see any more. But the thing is, we’re allowed to look at photos of girls in push up bras and few clothes or clothes that weirdly suggest no clothes, and we can ogle men with bulging arm muscles and bulges in other places, but try and join in the fun with your own pictures and you’ll be in trouble. For example, a 17 year old boy has been prosecuted for having nude photos of himself on his own phone. That was America, but there are similar cases in the UK, and here in NZ we have the new Harmful Digital Communications Act, which means we could start seeing similar convictions here. This Act means that if you’re under 18 and take nude photos of yourself, or are involved in distributing images deemed “indecent” or “obscene” you are breaking the law. The punishment is a fine up to $200,000 or 10 years in prison.

This new Act has good intentions written all over it – possibly good intentions with unintended consequences. Ah yes, the worst kind. There are two issues. 1. taking photos of yourself and 2. distributing photos of other people. Firstly, taking nude rude photos of yourself. The idea is to protect our under 18’s from being exploited by gross paedophiles, perverts and bastards who blackmail. However, it fails to take into account that lots of photos are taken willingly by those under 18 themselves. And it’s actually legal to have sex at 16, so there’s a bit of inconsistency around the age appropriateness of actions here (you can do the deed, just don’t get carried away and take alluring photos...)

The other issue is distributing the photos. This clause is designed to prevent “revenge porn” type instances of photos being released without consent, and there’s no age limit to this one.  Again, revenge porn itself is terrible. And it’s bad enough having your ex turn up at your place unannounced and unexpected (and usually when they think you’re not home) to take what they think is theirs (invariably it isn’t) without being true wankers and posting compromising photos of you online as well.

The problem is who gets caught up in this one. Take events at a local high school, for example. From the latest newsletter: “over the last few weeks we have seen a disturbing increase in a number of [students]… posting inappropriate naked pictures and videos of themselves on the internet. It has reminded us that this behaviour is more common than we think”. Uh-huh. You bet your bits and bobs it is. First problem was that the students who took their own photos were under 18, second was the fact that everyone in the entire school got sent the photos.

It would be a nice world if people deleted any rude photos of others and sent their friends messages saying “please don’t forward me those photos, I don’t want to see them”. And seriously, I do wish that would happen more often. And I really dislike the idea that some people were deliberately viewing the photos so they could “have something over” the students in question. However, there were a whole lot of others who unintentionally got caught up in what ended up being the distribution of pornographic material of minors – half the school could have been done for being paedophiles all because some students willingly took photos of themselves. In my mind, the simplest way to overcome the stigma of photos and distribution is to not care about nude photos – we’re all naked underneath our clothes people.

There are a whole range of scary and risky behaviours teenagers can engage in. For example, there is a much higher chance of damage or death when it comes to testing the limits under the influence of alcohol and drugs. But nude photos? There isn’t actually a lot of innate danger in that. It actually comes down to a moral stance – the danger is all in our heads people.

Back to Facebook. In addition to the scantily clad photos and videos there are also a large number of cute photos of kittens, little children and ponies and things. In some ways this slightly weird juxtaposition only serves to “normalise” nudity. I’m really not a fan of over sexualising our kids. But there’s something so ironic and almost unjust about getting in trouble for your own experimentation. We live in a world where companies make loads of money out of making our children look sexual (make-up, clothes, endless scantily clad celebrity endorsements and ultimately borderline pornographic advertising). But try and have some fun yourself and goodness me that’s disgusting...

But is it? It seems to me that by criminalising both the taking (under 18) and distribution of photos we’re creating the very problem we’re trying to avoid. We are turning nude photos into a big deal. I’m not talking about photos and videos of other people in compromising positons. That is, and always should be, completely wrong and abhorrent. I’m talking specifically about taking nude photos of yourself.  And really, if you haven’t tried it – you should! It’s fun. It’s empowering. It’s horny. And there’s nothing like parents joining in to put the teenagers off. They’ll never take nude photos of themselves again…   

Computers in classrooms: Let’s get back to the future

Computers replacing paper and pens. Everyone is focused, self-directed and engaged. Everyone succeeds. Really? And oh yeah, it’s actually 1987 …and we were really playing Zork (or Typing Tutor).

Technology in classrooms isn’t new. I was part of a programme at high school in the 1980s using computers called Integrated Studies. It’s questionable how much school work I did using the computer back then. And it’s probably a good question to ask of kids in classrooms throughout NZ today (a horrifying number of years later). Is technology in classrooms actually a good thing or an expensive distraction from teaching and learning?

An OECD report released this week called Students, Computers and Learning, questions whether having computers in schools leads to improved student outcomes. The “outcomes” in question are results on maths, science and reading tests. In fact, their analysis shows that the higher the usage the worse the results. I’m surprised. Horrified even, given how much we spent on a laptop at the start of this year… Most debates about computers in schools usually depict two sides to the argument: the yes they’re great so shut your fat faces, or no they’re not and I told you so let’s chuck them out the window… But let’s stop and think about this for a moment.

Back in the 80s we started using computers in schools. There was also some attempt to merge the teaching of subjects previously taught separately. In all honesty, my memory is a bit hazy, but according to some research I found the purpose was to “develop collaborative learning communities”. Alright, so I’m actually none the wiser... Apparently students participating in the programme achieved outcomes “demonstrably superior” to other students. Can’t say I remember that either… maybe because I only spent two years in the programme rather than five, and really did only use computers for Zork and Typing Tutor…

I do remember that it was huge at the time. Back then anyone who owned a Commodore 64 was hot stuff. And if you were lucky enough to know someone who had an Apple 2E you used to stand in front of the altar of cool (looking, not touching) in awe. We’d all grown up listening to Computer Games so we really felt the time was now, or then really… It took three disks to boot up while the computer made whirring, grinding and crunching noises displaying “patience is golden”. And “computer awareness” was a subject at school. Oh yes, those were the days.

Despite using computers myself in school (albeit not for learning purposes), I was initially a bit cautious of computers in classrooms. During primary school, one year we specifically asked for our son not be included in the ICT class. After that though, we’ve really been caught up in the tide sweeping us towards constant computer use. In some ways it’s concerning that computers in schools are not giving us the student success outcomes we’d hoped for. In other ways I think we’re missing the point. What did we want to achieve? How did we think that would happen? And what are some of the unexpected bonuses we’ve enjoyed along the way?

Some of the criticisms(expressed by the OECD’s education director) are that the priority should be students having “a good grasp of reading and maths” rather than simply ensuring that all students have access to technology. The other issue is the old “cut and paste” conundrum of plagiarising your way through school. Firstly, how is technology being used to teach reading and maths? If technology is being used simply to replace books, pens and paper then it will add nothing more. My son, who diligently takes his laptop to school each day, said they didn’t actually use them for maths (or science) anyway. They find instructions for their daily tasks but then use pen and paper. So maybe a bit more information on who is using computers for what exactly, would be good here.

On the reading front, there are numerous reading programmes. We’re currently using a reading programme at home – it’s absolutely brilliant. The brilliance is that it uses the technology to make it feel like we’re in the same room as the real life reading tutor (a number of strategies are used including a real, and not a computer generated, voice). Spooky possums. But very effective. It’s also a very well designed programme that is bang on in terms of developing skills associated with good reading habits rather than thinking you can simply “encourage a love of reading” – if you’re not good at it you’re not going to love, ok?! In short, if we’re not seeing improvements in reading, maths and science, then we’re using the technology wrong.   

In relation to cutting and pasting their way through school, in the first instance teachers need to set tasks and homework that encourage the creation of original work. This could sound like the “easier said than done” statement from a non-teacher, but I’m basing my judgement on research into setting assessments plus observations of my son’s teacher (she’s great). And please take the time to teach students about plagiarism. Teach them how to look up information online: how to determine what is good quality and what is not, and how to paraphrase information rather than cutting and pasting. If we don’t teach kids these skills in school we’re simply pushing the problem on to our higher education institutions.

I’m not keen on 5 year olds using iPads to practice writing. I also think there is a real disjoint between the reasonably heavy usage at primary and intermediate and, in contrast, the stark lack of usage at high school. I also think that we really need to make a move on being able to type during exams. I sat an exam myself a few years back, and being able to write by hand lasted 2 hours. Fortunately that was enough, but when you grow up typing and thinking it’s pretty hard to switch back to “old fashioned” handwriting.  

And in all honesty, I’m not keen on statements from the pro-computer use side of the debate either, such as “we’re training them to use technology that hasn’t been invented yet”. Ok… and we’re doing that how exactly?... But here is what I have personally noticed as some unexpected bonuses to using technology both in school and in the home: making movies, documentaries, action films, using special effects, creating stop-motion animations and selecting the font that conveys what is happening in your story. Computers can give kids a real creative outlet – especially those who don’t always automatically thrive under “normal” teaching conditions.

I think paper and pens work well for many tasks at school. But equally, let’s take what we know works in terms of actually teaching students, and transfer some of that knowledge and inspiration into the software our kids use to learn. And let’s get back to the future – get over what a novelty computers in classrooms are (because they’re not) and use them more often for something truly great. 

Murder and betrayal (and other fantasies)

Stoop. Now there’s a word. Never stoop to someone’s level. The level bit conveys quite a lot. Clearly there’s a hierarchy of behaviour and, if my grandmother had any say in the matter, we would always being aiming for the top. But really it’s the word stoop that makes the point. It seems to capture not only the lowering or sinking of standards, but the actual slimy poisonous descent – that miserable journey into the dark morality-free zone. Oooh, can I come too?

In all honesty, I’m more of the goody-good variety. I take the not stooping very seriously. I’m one of those types who attempts to take claiming the high moral ground to new and ever higher places. The good old-fashioned guilt-trip is my weapon of choice. The problem is that most of the time it doesn’t bloody work. Which leads me to wonder whether it’s actually more satisfying doing the wrong thing. You know, maybe just once… Although let’s be clear. I’m not talking about bitch-faced bullying. Rather, the focus is being on the receiving end of extensive and seemingly unrelenting crap and politely wondering if turning the other cheek just isn’t working.

Although one problem is that while I strive to be all things good, I’m actually not. I’ve been involved in terrible, vicious and inappropriate incidences of doing the wrong thing. Unfortunately, I usually fail to notice. I’m brilliant at causing offence, it’s just that I don’t mean to. So as a direct consequence, I fail to enjoy the delicious moment…  Take being a step-mother for example, everything you do is construed as evil simply by definition. We’ve all read the fairy tales; we know how it goes. But I’m usually surprised that what I’ve said or done has been taken badly, and then I’m left feeling perplexed because I genuinely believed being evil would be more fun. Clearly I’m doing it wrong. I need to get good at being bad.  

Betrayal is that curious phenomenon that is defined not just by the actions themselves, but the level of two-facedness involved. Betrayal involves a breach of trust. However, because we inherently trust some people more than others, sometimes it’s the lesser crimes that cause the greatest distress. And while sometimes betrayal is an act of revenge, at other times the initial act is unprovoked. Does the act of original betrayal feel good? Or does betrayal-revenge feel better? All things told, I feel I’m doing neither of these things right.

So what are some acts of betrayal for us to dwell on? Not in a plotting and scheming manner (cough). Just out of neutral and vague interest… There are the classic examples of spies during wartime, people having affairs and others generally going against how you agreed to raise the children… There are people who get married only to sneakily kill their partner for the insurance money and the classic examples of betraying others to gain power. There are even  cases of people pretending to be someone they’re not. Take  the curious court case in England at the moment of the woman taking another woman to court for pretending to be an Asian man tricking her into have sex. ….ok… so maybe we should move on to murder. 

How would I do it? I have never ever considered this question. But you know, now that you ask… Given the number of Agatha Christies I’ve read, I should be an arsenic in the tea type. Although I’d probably get horribly confused about which cup and accidentally drink it myself. In all honesty, I’m probably more of a crimes of passion type. Although I’m not really sure that brutal murder is my thing. Maybe it depends on the day… The freaky thing is that as there are loads of unsolved murders we’ve probably all met a murderer or two in our lifetimes. Maybe it’s that smug git at work who is always smiling – that’d be why…

Although maybe we should be cautious, because betrayal can backfire and leave you a paranoid unhappy wreck like that dude in that Shakespearean play we all had to study at school. But what if the problem was that he was talked into it and then subsequently felt awful. What if it was your own idea? Would you still feel bad? Sadly, I think the closest I will get to murder and betrayal is just simply telling someone what I think of them. But even that can be fraught.

The imagined idea of telling someone what you really think is so far removed from reality as to exist in an entirely different dimension. The ideal goes something like this: You swish in there looking fabulous. You stand tall and feel proud. You give the best darn speech in the history of fabulous “up yours” speeches. It’s witty and insightful with just the perfect amount of put downs (i.e. loads). You finish on a triumphant note while your opponent stands there, shoulders slumped obviously feeling shamed by their odious actions - cue you swanning off with glamour and style.

But part of you knows that the moment you do let rip you’re only going to look like a mad baboon who’s lost the plot. You’ll screech and say really silly things and probably even insult yourself “I know I am but what are you?... damn it!….”. And to top it all off as you turn to leave, imagining that great grand gesture, you’ll bloody trip over something and hurt yourself.

Even if you do manage to tell someone some home truths, it can be curiously unsatisfying, especially if faced with an unrepentant and disinterested foe.  So all things considered, maybe I’ll just take up running. It will be a great way to work off angsty-energy and anger (and hey, who knows, could come in handy for that quick getaway…).